1. The First Law
If you get into the first parking space you see and walk the rest of the way, you will find three parking spaces just next to your destination.
Corollary– However, if you drive on in the hope that there will be parking nearer your destination, you will end up desperately having to squeeze your vehicle next to a garbage dump or open drain at least a kilometer away.
2. The Odd and Even Doctrine
The P1 (odd number dates) or the P 2 (even number dates) sign will always be on the other side of the road where you’re driving.
Addendum- However, if you are on the right side of the road for the P 1/P 2, all the spaces will be occupied.
3. The Parallel Parking Sucks Theory:
If you do manage to park your car at just the right distance between two vehicles, when you return; there will be another vehicle parked too close behind and/or in front of yours.
Corollary– Reversing to get out of this situation also sucks.
4. The Mad Angles:
If you park at an angle to the pavement, the next vehicle to park next to yours will be at a right angle so that your front door is blocked.
5. The Two-wheeler Truism
Observation: Two-wheeler drivers are the bane of the parking world. If you do find the perfect parking space, a two-wheeler will soon be wedged right next to your front door. The two-wheeler will be on the side-stand and will have rear view mirrors and indicators that stick out on both sides.
6. Law of the Spatially Challenged: The space that looks wide enough to accommodate your car- isn’t.
7. The Parallel Conundrum: Parallel parking also- isn’t. Your vehicle will always be either too close or too far from the pavement and never parallel to it.
8. The Mall Puzzle: In the basement parking of a mall- your car will never be where you thought it would be.
9. The Rules of Summer:
If you park in the shade of a tree, it will shift (not the tree, the shade) and your vehicle will have turned into an oven by the time you return.
Corollary: If it doesn’t, the windscreen will be covered with dead leaves and bird-droppings by the time you return.
10. The Backing Out Let-Down:
The vehicle that you thought was backing out to leave- was just readjusting itself in the space you hoped to occupy. (to be continued…)
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