One of Murphy’s Laws states that if two people are sharing a room; the one who snores will fall asleep first. I can attest to this, not as a snorer but as a snoree (if such a word exists)- meaning the one who gets snored on or snored at.
Now I don’t have a partner who snores (I don’t even have a partner, so- mixed blessings!) but I have endured much as a snoree during train journeys and other outings. My most recent experience was on a group tour where I was sharing a room with a lady who happened to be a snorer. Her snores were loud, rhythmic and emitted -as the song goes- with ‘every breath you take’. I spent the first night at our first destination plugged into my earphones and with a pillow over my head. The following two nights at our next stop were worse because we were in a smaller room on a double bed. Finally, I pulled out the extra bedding and slept on the floor. On the fourth night at our final destination, I was assigned a different room and a different partner who (Praise the Lord!) was a non-snorer. I almost wept with relief that day.
And before I am accused of ignorance or lack of empathy, compassion etc, let me state that Yes, I am aware that excessive snoring is a medical condition that needs treatment, that persons who snore suffer from fatigue because their sleep is not restful and they usually wake up feeling tired. And to those who are wondering why I’m making such a huge fuss about a few snores- this is the reason why. It is because of a condition called Misophonia. And No, I am not making this up.
There was a time when I used to wonder if I was being overly sensitive to certain sounds. Sounds like sneezing, chewing loudly, slurping, clearing one’s throat, sniffing, coughing. And of course, snoring! Am I just a nasty, intolerant person, I’d ask myself. So much so that even the lightest of these sounds annoy me to the extent where I want to crawl into a hole and pull it in after me?
I don’t know about my being nasty or intolerant in general, but I do know now that the reason why these sounds are so triggering is because I have Misophonia. Thanks to a very helpful article on the internet I was able to diagnose this condition. Please spare me the warnings about using the internet to self-diagnose medical issues. We all know it and we do it anyway. And Misophonia is a disorder, not a sickness. So, back off!
These are the features that helped me understand what the problem is:
- It is a decreased tolerance to specific sounds that instantly cause one to feel ‘intense anger, anxiety or disgust’ Check. (no anxiety, some anger and disgust)
- Seems to be more common in women. Check
- Most likely develops in the early teen years. Check
- Reactions include: avoiding situations where trigger sounds can occur. Check. I avoid night journeys by train.
- Urge to leave the area when a trigger sound happens. Check.
- Non-violent actions to stop the sound. Such as pulling a pillow over my head! Check.
There is even a long list of the kinds of sounds that trigger Misophonia. They include eating/drinking/breathing/mouth and throat noises/activity noises like tapping fingers, clicking pens, typing loudly, clattering utensils, dripping taps and so on. A person who’d get triggered by all of these would probably have to live in a cave or on a desert island. I’m not that far gone, yet. But I do remember how the sight and sound of one of my teachers in school tapping her long nails on the table or on the blackboard would make me wince a little. And I absolutely cannot be in the same room with a person who pounds and hammers at the keyboard.
A few of my other pet peeves are: that early morning hacking, gargling cough to clear one’s throat. It makes me feel as if my ear drums are being assaulted by a lethal weapon. Sneezes are another trigger. I am yet to decide which is worse- a loud dry sneeze or a wet, sniffly, squishy one or a series of them. My own kids keep their distance from me when they’re down with a cold. They know this parent is not going to mollycoddle them or bustle around with soup, balm and comforting words. She’s more likely to lock them out of the house and allow them back in only after they’re better.
It is not known what causes Misophonia but some of the factors could be genetics or differences in brain structure or even a brain disorder. Now that I definitely do not have. Maybe I am just a very intolerant person with mild Misophonia! Unfortunately for us Misophonics, our disorder is not yet officially recognised. Which is surprising because it has been mentioned in one of the greatest literary works of the 19th century. I am referring to Jane Austen’s classic novel ‘Pride and Prejudice.’ There’s that scene where Mrs Bennet scolds her daughter by saying “Don’t keep coughing so, Kitty, for Heaven’s sake! Have a little compassion on my nerves. You tear them to pieces.” See?! And poor Kitty says fretfully “I do not cough for my own amusement.” Poor Kitty really didn’t know that her dear mamma was misophonic! Mrs Bennet’s misophonia was cured when she got what she wanted and Kitty was told by her father “Now, Kitty, you may cough as much as you choose.” but that’s the only account there is of such a cure!
Then there’s a scene in one of my favourite novels by PG Wodehouse- of one Mr Steptoe eating toast. Just reading about it was enough to trigger my misophonia: “silence fell upon the room, broken only by a crackling sound like a forest fire as Mr Steptoe champed his toast. This gorilla-jawed man could get a certain amount of noise-response even out of mashed potatoes, but it was when eating toast that you caught him at his best” Plum did not elaborate on how the others at the breakfast table reacted to this noise but had I been among them; I would have probably yanked the tablecloth off the table and fled the room.
Misophonia is said to be a lifelong condition but since it is not yet officially recognised, such claims may not be taken seriously. There is also no known way of preventing it. Looks like my fellow sufferers and I will just have to wait it out till technology comes up with some selective noise-cancelling sensory device that can be activated whenever a triggering sound is heard.
The only advantage of having this condition; as far as I can make out, is that it reassures me that my hearing is still ok. As we age, our mental and physical faculties get more and more feeble so it’s good to know that I have this in-built monitor that keeps track of my hearing ability.
So, Bring on those triggers! Me and my Misophonia are here to stay. And listen!
butterfliesonmymindblog 